When Siri is your support system.

 Dear Diary, 

Hey Siri, what do you do when you need more validation that people are able to give?

“Here are some things you can do when you need more validation than people are able to give you.”

Practice Self-validation

~Recognize your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. You can try:

Positive affirmations: Replace negative self-talk with statements that help you feel more empowered, such as, “I am confident.” “I am enough.”

Keeping promises: Make small achievable promises to yourself, such as taking a break or dedicating time to professional development.

Becoming more self aware: Try to understand who you authentically are so you can move forward without needed others to tell you you are okay.

I stood up there and read those words out loud and now as I sit here, I am not sure if I believe them at all.

“I am a strong woman.”

What a liar.

I am falling apart.

And I don’t even know what’s wrong.

Guilt and shame well up inside of me

Knowing that I will never make it to “enough”

But if i just keep reading those affirmations on my mirror long enough, maybe, 

Just maybe, 

I’ll believe it.

Google acts like it’s so damn easy

“Becoming more self aware: Try to understand who you authentically are so you can move forward without needed others to tell you you are okay.”

What the fuck does that even mean?

Hey Siri, how do you become self aware and try to understand who you authentically are so you can move forward without needing others to tell you if you are okay?

Becoming self-aware and authentically understanding yourself is a process of introspection, self-acceptance, and growth. Here are some steps to help you develop self-awareness and reduce dependence on external validation:

 1. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Reflection

   - Mindfulness: Start by being present and aware of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions without judgment. This can help you notice patterns in how you think or feel in certain situations.

   - Self-Reflection: Set aside time regularly to reflect on your actions, feelings, and decisions. Journaling is a helpful tool for this. Ask yourself questions like:

     - Why did I react that way?

     - What did I feel in that moment?

     - What do I truly want in this situation?

2. Identify Core Values and Beliefs

   Understanding what truly matters to you helps define who you are. List your core values (e.g., honesty, compassion, independence), and reflect on how these values guide your choices. When your actions align with your values, you'll feel more grounded and less reliant on others' approval.

3. Differentiate Between Inner and Outer Influences

   - Recognize the difference between your own desires and values versus what society, family, or friends expect of you. Question whether your choices reflect your true self or if they're based on wanting to please others.

   - By detaching from external pressures, you can learn to trust your inner voice more.

 4. Accept Your Strengths and Imperfections

   Self-acceptance is crucial for authentic living. Embrace both your strengths and weaknesses without harsh self-judgment. Instead of seeking perfection or approval, understand that it's okay to be imperfect. This can create a sense of inner peace and reduce the need for validation.

 5. Set Personal Boundaries

   Knowing when to say "no" and establishing limits is a sign of self-respect. Boundaries show that you understand your own needs and are willing to protect them. When you honor your boundaries, you reinforce a sense of self-worth and independence from others’ opinions.

6. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

   Many people seek validation due to negative self-perceptions or insecurities. When you catch yourself thinking "I'm not good enough," challenge that thought. Ask yourself:

   - Is this thought really true?

   - What evidence do I have to support or refute this belief?

   Developing a more compassionate internal dialogue strengthens your self-confidence.

7. Spend Time Alone

   Spending quality time with yourself without distractions allows you to connect with your true thoughts, feelings, and desires. Try activities like walking, meditating, or solo travel to help foster independence and self-reliance.

8. Pursue Meaningful Goals

9. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

   While the goal is to reduce reliance on external validation, it's also important to build a supportive network. Surround yourself with people who encourage your growth and accept you for who you are. They can provide feedback without defining your self-worth.

10. Trust Yourself

   Learning to trust your intuition and your decisions takes practice. Start small—make decisions based on your inner compass, and notice how it feels. Over time, this builds self-confidence, making you less reliant on others' opinions.

By engaging in these practices, you'll develop a clearer understanding of who you are, independent of external approval. You'll learn to value yourself for your authentic qualities and move forward with greater self-assurance.

Ok. No probs. I’ll work on that.

I know I’ve come a long way, but sometimes I feel like I am at square one, with no clue how to heal.

It’s like I lose the cognitive ability to be nice to myself or feel confident.

What if being seen by others is entirely too vulnerable to experience?

What then?

From Natalia Rachel at medium.com:

Vulnerability seems impossible because we feel a sense of shame like something is inherently wrong with us.

When we find the courage to share our experiences, we are no longer alone with them. We are connected. We can be seen, heard, and hopefully responded to. Simply taking off our suit of armor, piece by piece can completely transform our experience.

This is how we heal, thrive, and master. By being real.

This is really hard for me.

And I was proud of me.

And that should have been enough.