A Poem from 1999

 I am never content

Never happy

Never forgiven

And I sin

Just like you

And I deserve better

Than what I’ve found

Because I find shit

And it builds up

Like a coke bottle

And I need to be high

Like all the time

To forget about the hurt

The hurt in my heart

Cuts like glass

 And stains like wine

And it’s never forgotten

Or forgiven

Or paid off

Or explained 

To me

I am your spitoon

So you can spit

On me

All you like

Because I know

The chew in your mouth 

Is not sweet

It’s bitter

Ike your heart

Your soul

Go drink away the pain

And leave me out

And sin

Just like you do

Every day

Do you know me?

I know you know my name

But do you know my soul?

My dreams

Expectations

Fears

Desires

Breakdowns

Heartaches

Sunny days

Watching the clouds

And being content

With myself

And I need to be alone

But never lonely

And I need to feel 

the touch of 

Sun rays on my skin

The skin I’m in

Is ripping off

Like your shirt

On one

Lustful

Drunk

Friday night 

Of bliss

But it ends

Just like my favorite song

Only I can’t push

Repeat

But I’ll still play it

Over and over

In my head

Your tongue is sour

And it hurts me

But its OK

You weren’t the first

And probably not

The last.